Life is the greatest gift. The greatest challenge is what we choose to do with it.

My "Shut Up" Light

More often than not, in my conversations, I spend more time talking than listening. It is one of the things I despise about myself. Many conversations have been spent with me rattling off and not taking the time to listen to the other person. This in no way is the way I want things to be though. I actually have to coach my self to stop and listen, ask questions and to SHUT UP! Unfortunately, I don't often follow my own coaching. It is like there is a Shut Up light blinking in my head saying "warning stop talking now if you care about this person". But for some reason, I don't stop. I keep talking. Ninety percent of my conversations, I recount in my head with guilt for not shutting up more. It is something I am determined to overcome. My sister is one of the people that I have the hardest time with. She keeps asking questions and before I know it I've spent most the time talking because I am answering them. I leave the conversation burdened, wondering about her and how she is doing.
Tonight, I have no regrets. I asked questions, I listened and I shut up. My shoulders feel lighter. I fell like walking on air. I don't have to carry the usual burden of guilt of being a blabber mouth to my pillow. There is hope, even for me. Here is to many more conversations where I heed my "Shut Up" light and listen.

Nothing a Tub of Ice Cream Won't Cure

Another day with the kiddos... and 7 loads of laundry. Yeah, today wasn't as productive as yesterday. A cranky 4 year old will put a damper on productivity. But that is ok, because after sitting down with a tub of ice cream, I am ready to tackle the house. Hopefully I can burn off some of that ice cream doing the dishes and folding all the laundry.

I Did It List

As I began to reheat my dinner for the third time my mind swept over my house and the list of things I needed to do still before I went to bed.  The kids are down and I am surrounded with the aftermath of a busy day. The list seems a mile long as I look around at the piles of clothes, shoes, dishes and toys. My heart sinks as I realize that I will have to tackle the mess alone, then I had a thought...
What if I chose to look at what I have already accomplished today, not what is yet to be done ?
Today, I have:

• Dressed three children, each one at least twice
• Changed 8 diapers, including a blowout (if you don't know what one is, lucky you)
• Made breakfast, lunch and dinner
• Made Chicken soup from scratch (Not included in breakfast, lunch or dinner)
• Delivered soup to my brother and his wife 
• Baked Banana bread, with the help of a 4 year old (which means I had a handy cap)
• Took my son to school
• Picked him up from school
• Took my son to his first football practice (aka soccer to Americans)
• Survived 2 hours in the cold with three children by myself
• Fed my daughter 8 times in the last 12 hours
• Cleaned the kitchen and the dishes twice
• Got three wired children to bed
• Washed someone else's hands seven times..... (This is the abridged version)

Wow, instead of my usual blue state at the end of the day, I am energized knowing that even if I went to bed now, I have had an amazing full day. I have accomplished a lot and am proud of myself. 

So many evening have been spent overwhelmed by my to do list. It seems like a never ending flood of things to do and I spend more time feeling guilty for what I haven't done instead of proud of what I have done. I want that to change. No, I am not going to get rid of my to do list. I am just going to start a new list: my I Did It List. At the end of the day I want to be able to say to myself, it isn't about what did not get done, it is about what did get done. Instead of regret and dread, joy and pride over all that I do, because I am pretty amazing (or so I've been told).

According to My Son...

Since yogurt comes from milk and milk comes from cows.... Strawberry yogurt comes from strawberry cows and vanilla yogurt comes from vanilla cows.

But Why Daddy?

On my walk this morning, I found myself basking in the beauty around me. The air was cool and clean from the rain earlier, the sky was a wonderful deep blue above and warm and yellow ahead as the sun peaked over the houses and mountains. All around me signs of spring were calling me. Daffodils and tulips were bobbing their heads under the weight of the sparkling dew and the trees were adorning themselves in different shades of pink and white blossoms. It is mornings like this that I am in awe of my Maker and all that He has done.
Then like a brick wall, images of what is happening in the world came smashing into my mind. I saw the images of the tsunami tearing through towns in Japan, whole buildings floating down the street. My heart cried out. How could the same God that I worship and adore, the one who created the blossoms and causes the sun to rise be the same God that allows people's whole worlds to be destroyed? How can his creation be so beautiful and so terrible at the same time? Then just like my two-year old daughter, I looked up at my Father and asked why. And He answered, through my daughter.
You see, my daughter's latest thing is to ask why for everything. "Sweetie, I need to change your diaper." "Why". "Because it will give your bottom owies if I don't. "Why?" "Because poop hurts our bottoms if it sits on it to long" "Why?" "Because it is dirty." "Why?"...... and so it will go on until she is distracted by something else. It does not matter how good my answer is, she still asks why after. I don't believe it is a game, she is genuinely curios about the answer, but the truth is, no matter what answer she gets, she will still ask why. I also know that there are some answers her brain are not mature enough to understand. "Well sweetie, the ph imbalance will cause a break down of your skin and the bacteria in your fecal matter can cause infection... " isn't really a response a two year old is ready to tackle.  Not to mention, I would still get the same response, "why". The problem is not my answer, it is just where she is at developmentally.
I am no different. I ask God, why expecting to be able to comprehend His answer. But the truth is that no matter what answer He gave, I would still respond with "but why".  I have come to understand that I can not claim to understand God, and I am ok with that. It is almost freeing. Knowing that God is bigger than I am, knows more than I do, is more powerful than I am is actually very liberating. I am at peace not having all the answers. Because I know that He does have the answers, and even if He gave them to me, there is no guarantee that I would be ready to hear them and understand. So just like my daughter, I will still ask why, turning to my Father hoping for an answer I can understand. And just like her I will be ok not understanding everything, because I know that my Father does know and that is what is important.

Food Affair

It started out as innocent flirting, but now I am full fledge addicted. I had no idea what I had been missing for all these years. I thought it would be a one time thing. I wasn't planning on it being so wonderful. Ricotta cheese is AMAZING! I find myself pulling out the container and eating it by the spoonful.
My other foods are getting jealous. Pizza? Who needs you when I can have a sandwich with ricotta and veggies. Ice cream? So forgotten when there is peach sauce and ricotta with vanilla to be had. I even used it in my frittata recipe. I am obsessed.
My wonderful husband just rolls his eyes as I break out another slice of toast to slather with ricotta. I am also currently looking up recipes for making it from scratch. I might have to add an extra bit of exercise to my routine though.
Here is to another day where Ricotta Cheese and I will be found enjoying another moment of taste bud bliss.

And just incase you wanted to try it out, try this sandwich. I've had three in the last 24 hours.

Ricotta, bell pepper and cucumber sandwich.

• 1/4 cup ricotta cheese
• 1 slice of rustic Italian bread, toasted
• 1 clove garlic
• 5 thin slices of red bellpepper
• 5 thin slices of english cucumber
• 1/2 of a green onion sliced length wise
• Drizzle of olive oil
• Salt and Pepper

Cut garlic clove in half and gently rub across toast a couple of times. Spread ricotta cheese on top of garlic toast, then place onion and bell peppers on top of cheese. Layer with sliced cucumber. Finish with a drizzle of olive oil, salt and pepper. Enjoy!

Perfection Comes in Small Packages

It is amazing how the stress of the day just melts away when you are holding a newborn. Ten perfect fingers and ten perfect toes is the ultimate therapy. Nothing truly crazy happened today, but I was in one of those moods. The world seemed to be crashing in and all I wanted to do was pout.  It didn't seem like anything could get me out of my funk, but as I held my perfect little newborn nephew, all in the world was right again. Even my headache disappeared as I gazed into his baby blues. This is one happy auntie.

The Sofia Effect

Why can two adults handle two children, but three adults can not handle three kids? Tonight, I sat there amazed at how, even with an extra set of hands, my world felt absolutely chaotic. Not sure how to wrap my head around it,  my sister  explained what she calls the Sofia Effect. Relief flooded in from the ability to finally name my dilemma. 

The Sofia Effect, as defined by my sister is a mathematical formula. Two children create an addition situation. When you have a child, one more child adds to the chaos. Three children creates a multiplication situation.  When you add on another child, the effect is a multiplication of the chaos. 

In my house, the Sofia Effect is in full bloom. Somehow the mess that two children can make explodes exponentially when there is a third to take care of. Between the 300 plus toys strewn across my living room, the poop piles in the bedroom, the full dishwasher, sink and counters, the dirty laundry tucked in random corners, shoes under tables and chairs, pink tutu's, glow in the dark bracelets and bag of frozen chicken open and all over my freezer, I somehow made it out alive. At the end of the day, I can say that three is definitely harder than two, but  with a sister who can make my children light up like it is christmas and the help of my amazing husband we made it through the day, the kids had a blast and the house is put back into functioning order. I even made chocolate pudding and stir-fry. Now to enjoy my homemade peach sauce with some vanilla ricotta and the few moments of peace and quiet as my children sleep, because the Sofia Effect is even stronger at night.

Life Lesson # 389 The Glasses Test

If you can't see whether or not your glasses are on while looking in a mirror three feet away, then you do not have your glasses on. But if all else fails, do the feeler test.

Moments of Brilliance

Every once in a while, I think I have moments of brilliance.  Those wonderful "ah-ha" moments where I think, maybe I actually have a brain. More often than not, they are quickly followed by a sharp reminder that again, a brain functioning on under 2 hours of sleep a night is not functioning at all. Ok, so I usually do get more sleep than that, just not lately. My silence as of late has everything to do with my lack of brain function. Every time I get an "ah-ha" moment of something to post, a child pees on the carpet, dinner is burning or I just can't keep my eye's open to go write it down. Twenty minutes later, I have either forgotten my wonderful brilliant thought, or it has lost all of it's brilliance as I clean up another bodily fluid that's not my own.
Today I had another moment where I thought I was brilliant...well maybe not brilliant, but at least pretty clever.   I had the idea of encouraging my son's growth by having him start clearing the table as his new "contribution" instead of setting it. After a few reminders, I stood there watching him clear the table, proud of myself for my initiative. Not more than twenty seconds later, I was chastising myself for my premature celebration. There was my son, holding his sister's plate upside down, licking every last drop of ketchup from the surface. This is one "brilliant" idea that might come back to bite me on more than one occasion.